Sex Therapist AU

[totallynotrobin]

Stiles is sure this was a terrible idea. Absolutely terrible. He's shaking as he sits, waiting, in the man's office. After everything that happened...he can't do this. He should leave. No - he isn leaving. He's going to walk out that door and -

But Stiles is frozen by fear. His nails are digging into his palm, jaw clenched. Move. Get up. Get out before he shows up. I'm sorry, Dr. Hale, I couldn't make it. Yeah. Sounds plausible.

It was a Wrong Place, Wrong Time type of thing. Actually, it was the Wrong Drink. Worst part was, it wasn't even meant for him. But when the guy figured out he'd roofie'd the wrong kid, well - might as well get something out of it, right? And for some sick reason, that made him feel worse, that he wasn't the intended target. That he was some kind of second class, even for a sick fuck like that. From there, it was all downhill.

So he's stuck in that chair, dreading the moment his new therapist opened the door.

Comments

[totallynotrobin]

"Every day." Stiles admits quietly. "Almost all day, usually."

[burnedwolf]

The doctor sighs as he's eying the boy. Well, in Stiles' place he wouldn't want his father to know that either.

"For all these months?" he asks quietly. "And you're alone on these days?"

[totallynotrobin]

"Yeah," Stiles nods, glancing back down at his hands. "He doesn't know. I mean, he knows I skip. Not how much. He's never home."

[burnedwolf]

"So, all these months since you quit lacrosse, you practically stay at home alone. And play games." Peter sums up with a nod. He takes a moment before he asks Stiles again. "Why did you finally decide to come to me? Did something change?"

[totallynotrobin]

"…when you say it like that it sounds awful." Stiles mutters, but he knows that it is.

"I - I guess I finally decided I needed help." Stiles looks up at him, hazel eyes dark. "I don't know if you can actually help me. But I can't say I didn't try."

[burnedwolf]

"Because it is awful." Peter assures Stiles, but he's not going to talk about it just yet. Stiles doesn't need punishment right now, he needs support. The doctor looks back into those eyes with a small smile.

"Believe me Stiles, I'll help you with everything I can." Peter speaks. "And I'm glad you decided to come, even if you're reluctant. That means you already made the first step. And you're here with me in a room, with a stranger. Stiles I have high hopes for you."

[totallynotrobin]

"Yeah, let's see if I have the guts to show up next time." Stiles mutters, fidgeting in his chair. "Well, thanks, but we'll see."

[burnedwolf]

"You don't find me trustworthy?" Peter smiles a little. "If you don't think you'll be able to talk about this with me, you can pick other therapists." he offers.

[totallynotrobin]

Stiles sighs a little. "You're the only one a) close enough for me to arrive before I chicken out, and b) male. I can't - it wasn't - yeah."

[burnedwolf]

"Well then, I hope we can see each other again." Peter says. "Why did you decide to come to me and not to a psychologist? Because I'm going to ask about your physical symptoms too, which you might find invasive." he warns.

[totallynotrobin]

"It's pretty simple," Stiles coughs awkwardly. "I keep scrubbing. But I don't feel clean." And that feels more physical to him that mental, but he could be wrong.

[burnedwolf]

The doctor nods and finally reaches for his notebook nearby, opening it. Though his eyes return to Stiles the next moment.

"It's not you who should feel dirty, Stiles." Peter assures the boy as he clicks his pen. "Did you experience a different sexual drive since the incident? The lack of for example?"

[totallynotrobin]

"Sort of." Stiles leans back in his seat. His eyes are glued to Peter's notebook, nerves growing. "Not that I'm not…attracted to people. I just don't feel good when I am."

[burnedwolf]

"Is that a part of why you're not going to school?" Peter asks, writing down a few notes he plans to remember later. "What do you mean you don't feel good?"

[totallynotrobin]

"I'm not going to school because there are too many people and I feel suffocated." Stiles corrects. "I don't feel good about it. It just makes me sad or frustrated or…nobody's ever been attracted to me, so that's part of the problem I guess."

[burnedwolf]

Peter nods, looking down at his paper for a second.

"You want to be sexually appealing to others, or you'd like attraction in general?" he asks quietly.

[totallynotrobin]

"…both." Stiles takes a deep breath. "When - when it happened. It wasn't even - it wasn't even supposed to be me." And in some twisted way it injured his self-esteem.

[burnedwolf]

Peter frowns a little, narrowing his eyes. That's a unique trait in the case indeed. But at least Stiles told it without concretely asking about it. Which is good, they are making progress.

"It was an accident then?" he asks. He wants to ask for more details, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Stiles.

[totallynotrobin]

"Yeah." Stiles snorts bitterly. "A complete accident." Even Stiles isn't sure whether or not he'd share them. It helps that he knows his dad isn't going to hear any of this.

[burnedwolf]

Peter nods, looking at Stiles for a moment.

"Did he tell you that?" he asks at last. "He might have been lying."

[totallynotrobin]

"…I don't think he was." Stiles hadn't even really thought of that. But by now he's so far gone he doesn't find it hard to believe it wasn't meant for him.

[burnedwolf]

Of course, Peter thinks, anything that little shit said must have affected Stiles ten times worse. Maybe that was the worst thing he could have said to someone with a low self esteem.

"Did you know him?" Peter asks quietly.

[totallynotrobin]

"No." Stiles shakes his head. "I didn't."

[burnedwolf]

"Is he still out there?" Peter asks, because that might be an important information in regard of Stiles' recovery.

[totallynotrobin]

Stiles averts his eyes. "…yeah. They didn't catch him."